Making Connections
by moviefreak4634
Summary: It wasn’t complete amnesia. At least, that’s what the doctors had said. But Brennan wasn’t sure if it hurt more or less that Booth could recognize Jared but not her. -- Set after the end of Season 4


Author's Note: Okay, so this is my first Bones fic, but I think it worked out fairly well. I know that Hart Hanson insists Booth doesn't actually have amnesia, but since he essentially ruined the show this season, I'm not sure I care. Besides, I wanted to write some angst tonight, and this is it.

Disclaimer: I may wish I owned Booth, but unfortunately, I don't. I don't own Bones either.

* * *

It wasn't complete amnesia. At least, that's what the doctors had said. But Brennan wasn't sure if it hurt more or less that Booth could recognize Jared but not her. They'd been partners for four years now. Why couldn't he remember her?

She told herself this line of thought wasn't rational – that Booth couldn't control what he remembered, but it didn't help the pain. The pain stayed.

And she couldn't even see him. That hurt too much, to see the blank expression in his eyes when he looked at her, and she didn't want to scare him. He had enough to worry about already.

She wasn't sure why Booth's amnesia should cause her so much pain though. Sure, they were partners, and that was important. And yeah, they were going to have a baby together, which had, for obvious reasons, been postponed. But those things shouldn't have affected her this much. She hadn't even cried this much when Russ had left her, and he was her brother.

In the end, Brennan did what she always did to avoid pain. She threw herself into her work. Angela tried to get her to go out, to go to dinner with her and Hodgins, but Brennan always refused. The conversation would inevitably turn to Booth, and if by some miracle it didn't, the pity on both Angela and Hodgins's face would be too much for her already frail mental state.

It was on one of these nights of working late that there was a knock on her door. Brennan glanced up, and a bolt of hope shot through her when she saw Booth at the door. She got up and opened it.

"Booth?" she asked, unable to keep the hope from shining through in her voice. "What are you doing here?"

"They told me I should go to places I would normally have gone to," he said, somewhat apologetically. "Before."

"Oh." Brennan couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice either. "Of course. You can stay as long as you like. I'm just finishing up some work, so I'll be here."

He nodded and began walking around the room as Brennan returned to her desk. She hadn't seen him in weeks, but he had changed so much. Gone was the Seeley Booth she knew, and there was this stranger in his place. The way he walked, talked, held himself, it was all wrong, just wrong.

"Excuse me?"

Brennan realized Booth was speaking to her.

"Yes?"

"Is there anywhere else I used to go while I was here? I don't know that this is helping."

She couldn't stop the lump from rising in her throat. "Yes," she said softly. "We can go to the platform." She stood up from behind her desk on shaky legs, focused on taking deep breaths.

"Are you all right?" Booth asked, and she almost started crying again. He sounded so different, the tenderness, the care he showed her was gone. This Booth had no idea who she was.

"I'm fine," she replied as she led the way through the darkened lab to the platform. She scanned her badge in, motioning for Booth to follow her.

"Here, we are," she announced. "The platform."

Booth shook his head slightly. "I don't remember. I'm sorry."

Brennan shook her head too. "You don't have to apologize. You have amnesia, Booth."

He looked away. She hadn't ever thought about how hard this must be for him, being told he should remember things but not remembering them, losing four years of your life.

"Dr. Brennan?"

She flinched at the sound of his voice. She hated that he couldn't call her 'Bones,' didn't remember calling her 'Bones.'

"Yes?"

Booth was looking up, obviously trying to work something out in his head. "Can we go up there?" He pointed at the catwalk.

"Sure," Brennan said and led the way up the stairs.

"This seems like a good place to think," Booth remarked, when they reached their favorite spot. Brennan could remember when they would stand up here and talk about cases, but that was far in the past now.

"It is," she agreed, almost wistfully, and Booth looked at her, concerned again. It still wasn't the concern she was looking for though.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"And I told you. You don't have to apologize, Booth. It's fine."

"No, it's not. I'll leave if you want me to. I didn't think, coming here, what that would do to you. I just want to remember."

He sounded broken, so unlike the Booth she knew, but a moment later, he leaned against the catwalk railing in a gesture so familiar it almost broke her heart.

"I know."

They stood in silence for awhile before Booth spoke again.

"So you work here, huh?"

"Yeah, and so do Hodgins, Angela, and Cam. I guess you don't remember them either, except for Cam."

"Yeah, I remember Cam." He paused. "I wish I remembered you."

Brennan smiled slightly; though it was a sad-kind of smile and leaned on the railing next to Booth.

"We were just partners? Nothing else?"

She smiled again. "No, nothing else."

"Did we want to be something more?"

"I don't know," she replied, the best answer she could give.

"I feel a connection to you," Booth confessed. "I can't remember, but I feel like we've met before, which we obviously have. But it's more than that. I can't explain."

"That's good. You're making connections. Maybe your memory is coming back."

"But I don't remember anything or anyone else, not even remotely," he muttered, frustrated. "Just you."

Brow furrowed in concentration, she turned to look at him and found him staring at her. "You remember me?"

"A little."

Brennan didn't notice that they were drawing in towards each other, closer and closer, until their lips were almost touching. But by that point in time, she didn't care. She wasn't sure why, but this was what she wanted. She wanted to kiss Booth, even if he didn't really remember her.

So she closed the distance between them and lost herself in Booth's kiss for several minutes. When she broke off the kiss, Booth's eyes were still closed, but Brennan had already begun regretting the moment. She was nothing if not logical, but how was that logical?

"I'm sorry," she said, already pulling away, but as she went to remove her hand from the railing, Booth grasped in her wrist.

"Wait."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I mean, you don't even remember me, and I don't even know why I wanted to kiss you in the first place. You're my partner."

"Bones."

The one word shocked her into silence. She scarcely dared to breathe, hardly hoping that she'd actually heard what she thought she'd heard.

"Booth?" she breathed.

"Bones." She'd heard it again, and when she looked at him, there was no denying the spark of recognition in his eyes.

"Booth. You remember? We've got to get you to the doctor, let them know–"

"Just shut up and kiss me," Booth interrupted, and he pulled her in for another kiss.


End file.
